So, you’re looking for a writer.
Here's a quick and effective way to ascertain whether or not he or she is the real deal.
Ask them: "What's your favourite word?"
If they don't answer you immediately, hang up the phone or click away from their website or, if you're unfortunate enough to find yourself face-to-face with one of these alarming creatures, just run. As fast as you can. Don't look back.
Because that person is categorically not a writer. It's an impostor. It's one of... Them.
"Them?"
Yes, Them.
They go by many names: 'Word Placement Technicians', 'Prose Location Engineers', 'Linguistic Facilitation Consultants'.
They can provide you with all the words and sentences and paragraphs you need. They can fill entire books with their scribbling, entire hard drives with their tick-tacking. But it isn't writing. And they aren't writers.
At first glance, it certainly looks like writing. Everything seems to be in order: spelling, grammar, syntax. All the necessary information has been neatly compiled and efficiently presented.
But it's flavourless. It's dull. These words have been negotiated onto the page, managed and coordinated into existence.
Frankly, it makes my blood run cold.
So, go ahead. Ask me.
"What's your favourite word, Michael?"
At this particular point in time (because it changes every few weeks and has done for the 20-plus years I've been providing freelance writing services), it happens to be 'discombobulate'.
No particular reason, I just like to hear it, say it, write it.
Weird, I know. It's a writer thing.
Looking for a writer? Call 07906612111.
Ask them: "What's your favourite word?"
If they don't answer you immediately, hang up the phone or click away from their website or, if you're unfortunate enough to find yourself face-to-face with one of these alarming creatures, just run. As fast as you can. Don't look back.
Because that person is categorically not a writer. It's an impostor. It's one of... Them.
"Them?"
Yes, Them.
They go by many names: 'Word Placement Technicians', 'Prose Location Engineers', 'Linguistic Facilitation Consultants'.
They can provide you with all the words and sentences and paragraphs you need. They can fill entire books with their scribbling, entire hard drives with their tick-tacking. But it isn't writing. And they aren't writers.
At first glance, it certainly looks like writing. Everything seems to be in order: spelling, grammar, syntax. All the necessary information has been neatly compiled and efficiently presented.
But it's flavourless. It's dull. These words have been negotiated onto the page, managed and coordinated into existence.
Frankly, it makes my blood run cold.
So, go ahead. Ask me.
"What's your favourite word, Michael?"
At this particular point in time (because it changes every few weeks and has done for the 20-plus years I've been providing freelance writing services), it happens to be 'discombobulate'.
No particular reason, I just like to hear it, say it, write it.
Weird, I know. It's a writer thing.
Looking for a writer? Call 07906612111.
